Listen to your heart
by skyspirit78
Summary: <html><head></head>My musings about the episode Dummy Twins and what happened between the N/CC fight and Fran and Max finding them in bed together...</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Listen to your heart**

**A/N:** Isn't it funny to become attached to a tv show or better sitcom although it's finished since more than 10 years? Well, it's not the first time that something like this happens to me so actually it doesn't really surprise me anymore. That crazy mind of mine *lol*

**Summary:** Another Dummy Twins – continuation... I know I know, there are millionth of them out there and I've read them all (well, all I could find *lol*) but… I just needed to write down my own musings about this special episode.

**Feedback:** This is my first english fanfiction story which is published for others to read. English is not my native language and I also have no beta-reader so please be careful with me. Besides that, feedback is very appreciated.

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><p>It was dark outside, already past 8pm. There weren't many people outside on the streets anymore, most of them were already at home.<br>C.C. Babcock left the Sheffield house with slightly shaking legs while she still kept hearing Niles' words in her mind.

'Where are you going to be ten, twenty years from now? You're going to be saying "Merry Christmas" to your friends in rehab and wondering what might have been!'

She felt a shudder running through her body remembering the whole scene. She had never seen him so… serious and hurt when giving her the speech. He had opened his heart to her several times during the last days and what had she done? All she did was laughing in his face and making fun of it, not recognizing that he wasn't joking anymore. 'But isn't this understandable after everything that happened during the last twenty years?' she thought sadly. How should she have known that he was serious, that he really meant what he said? She had been so sure that this was another of his usual pranks that she just had reacted the way she always did.

She had never been good with emotions especially when it comes to love. Emotions had never been important for her family, especially for her mother. B.B. had always explained them as useless and not important except you could use it to get any financial profit with it.

C.C. remembered she had agreed with her mother just for the peace of the day but when she was honest to herself she knew that she did not think the same about love.

Now wait, why was she suddenly thinking about love? Niles and love? Nah, that couldn't be. Could it? When she was honest she had to admit hat there was this little voice inside her heart which so longed to hear these famous three words from Niles. But she had always moved these thoughts aside, too scared to admit that she had feelings for the 'help'. Her mother had made clear that Babcocks do not mix with the help in any kind of relationships. Servants were merely accepted for doing their work but nothing more.

Absent mindly she waved for a cab and climbed into it. After giving the driver her address her thoughts kept wandering back to what happened short time ago. Niles' hurt eyes appeared again and his voice echoed through her mind. Suddenly she felt a pinch in her heart and hidden tears stung in her eyes. What the hell had she done? She looked out of the windows to keep the tears from falling. She just couldn't let them come now, a Babcock never cried, at least not in public.

They were passing Central Park when the driver turned up the volume of the radio. CC felt anger rise in her but then the words of the radio guy catched her attention.

'Hello friends out there. What a beautiful night we have. My name is Kyle and tonight I want to present another one of our show "Love stories". You know, guys, I'm sure you agree with me when I say the most important thing in life is to find the one person who really loves you deeply and truly. There can never be enough love in the world, right guys?…"

'Yeah, sure', C.C. thought. She knew this radio show, she had heard it last week on her way home after a long and boring business related dinner. It was strange to hear people talk about their private love stories and she knew she would never share her experiences in public. 'Well, what experiences actually?' she wondered. This show was about real love and not just about all the little affairs people have with each other on their desperate way to find the true love.

'I don't even have affairs', C.C. thought sadly and again her thoughts went back to Niles. That sting in her heart started to hurt more and more, his voice and his face haunted her and she desperately tried to ignore it. But it didn't help. Tears stung in her eyes but again she forced them down. Not here, not now.

The cab had to slow down because of the heavy traffic and C.C.s attention went back to the radio. They had played some slow love songs and now the radio guy was talking to a woman on the phone. Obviously she had called the station to tell another of these sappy stories but something in her voice made C.C. listen.

"So, Mary, which story do you want to share with us tonight?", Kyle addressed his female caller to encourage her to speak.

The womans voice was quiet when she started to speak. "First of all I know that you prefer stories with a happy ending in your show, Kyle, but mine is a sad one. Still I want to share it with the people out there. I once made a big mistake, the biggest in my life, and because of that I lost the only one person I really loved and still do. Even now after so many years it's a bit difficult for me to talk about this but I hope that if someone out there is now in a similar situation like I was that time he or she will do the right thing after hearing me out."

"Wow, Mary, I can't wait to hear your story", Kyle said in awe after a second of silence. "Go on, please, and take all the time you need for this."

C.C. listened intently. Mary hesitated a moment as if to gather her thoughts.

"About fifteen years ago I had a boyfriend named... well, let's just call him Don right now. Well, after a very ugly fight he dumped me and throw me out of our apartment. It was a warm summer night so at least I could walk around without getting a cold or so. After the fight I was completely devastated on one side because we had been together for about five years and I had dreamed about settling down, starting a family and so on. But on the other side I had also felt some kind of relief because the last months with Don had been terrible. We had started arguing in the morning and hadn't stop until we went to bed in the night. There was no romance any more, no love."

She took a deep breath and continued talking. "Well, anyway, thinking about it now it was clear that the thing between Don and me had to end this way…." She paused for a second.

"After that I started to live my own life again and some weeks later I met a guy named Joe in a bar not far from my new apartment. I had been there with my friend just to have a bit fun and have a good girls talk too. I remember that from the first moment I saw Joe he instantly got my attention. He was a tall dark-haired man only a few years older then me and he was not only good-looking but also well-mannered and so charming that it took only a few minutes until I felt like walking on clouds."

C.C. could hear a smile in Mary's voice and she thought about Niles again. Sure, they had their usual bickering and bantering every day but that was their normal way of communication. She had once told Nanny Fine that there was no real hate between the two of them, that this all was just some kind of game they played. And then there had been occasions like the Broadway Guild Awards where Niles had actually saved her by escorting her and being so very charming that a lot of other women in the room were bursting with jealousy. And she couldn't deny that she had enjoyed these occasions so much.

Her mind was yanked back to the radio again where Mary had continued speaking.

"Joe and I had a wonderful time. He was so different compared to Don and I can only say that this was the greatest time of my whole life. Until that unfortunate day..." She stopped talking probably slightly overwhelmed by the memories of the past.

Kyle's warm voice came up again. "Okay, folks, let's give Mary a little break in here and play a bit music. After this she will continue her story. Am I right, Mary?"

"Yes, I will tell you everything."

Meanwhile the cab had received at C.C.s apartment and after paying the driver she went upstairs in her lonely penthouse. She locked the door behind her and strolled over to the bar. God, she needed a drink after this horrible day, maybe the pain she felt in her heart would get better then.

While sipping her drink she turned on the radio just in the right moment because Mary was on the line again.

'Well, here we are again with our show "Love Stories" ', the voice of the radio guy was heard, 'and on the phone we still have Mary. She once has met a nice guy named Joe who seemed to be the love of her life until something happened. Now, Mary, would you please go on with your story?'

Marys voice came through the speakers. "Yes, I will. Well, as you already said I had a great time with Joe and everything seemed to be perfect. Then one night we were at a summer party and after some dancing we decided to get some fresh air and went out. It was a warm night and the stars were out so we watched them for a while talking and cuddling."

Listening intently C.C. could almost imagine the whole scenery while Mary went on.

"It was perfect but suddenly Joe turned to me and out of the blue asked me if I wanted to marry him. I must admit I was very surprised and almost a bit shocked because I surely hadn't expected this. I said earlier that i had thought about settling down with Don and starting a family but we had been together for several years until I had that thought about marriage and all. With Joe I had been together for only a few weeks and although all was running so great between us I still was feared that this whole was only working for limited time."

She trailed off and Kyle finally asked. "So you mean you liked him very much but still were not sure if a marriage at this early state of your relationship would really work out for you two? Am I understand that right?"

"Well, yes, partly. At that time I thought it was too early for a big decision like this because we should get to know each other better but now after so many years I'm sure it would have worked out and I'm also sure that he meant it and would have never disappointed me. But I made the decision with my brain and not with my heart, refused his proposal and told him that it was too early for me. We talked about it and he tried to convince me to trust him and that his feelings were honest but at the end I couldn't overcome my fears and he was so hurt that he left me. Since then I feel so bad about it and wish I could change it, even now after fifteen years."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "And that's why I have called you tonight. I just wanted to say that sometimes it's more important that you listen to your heart and trust your feelings. Don't rationalize too much when it comes to love and just take a risk..."

C.C. felt tears well up in her eyes again. God, this story could be hers. It was so similar to the situation between her and Niles right now that she felt that ache in her heart even more. The only difference was that Niles had never exactly told her why he wanted to marry her. Did he have feelings for her? Was it possible that he could even love her? And then there was this fear regarding her family. What would they think? C.C. just could not forget what her mother had told her. All of this was burnt in her memories although she had never really agreed with her about this. But it was so difficult to overcome it.

It all was confusing her so much but there was also this tiny little spark of hope in her. He had proposed to her four times and although she didn't believe it then she knew now that he had really meant it.

C.C. wiped the tears from her face and got up from the couch. She had to find out his real feelings and she had to do this now. She couldn't let him go without knowing the reason for his proposals. Blindly she grabbed for her keys and left her apartment without turning off the radio. It didn't matter now.

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><p>So, that was chapter 1. Now what do you think? Is it a story worth continuing?<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you very much for all your reviews :D . I really appreciate all of them. Thanks a lot.

For a moment I was thinking about letting it stand as a oneshot, just like EspoirDio mentioned. But then I decided to add another chapter because I had already almost finished it *lol*. It has a bit more romance included but I tried to write it not too sappy because I think that wouldn't work with Niles and C.C. At least that's what I think...

Anyway, reviews are wanted :)

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><p>Half an hour later C.C. arrived at the Sheffield Mansion and quietly turned to the back side of the house. Maxwell had once given her the keys in case she needed something from the office when no one was at home but she had rarely used them. It was more fun for her to go in through the front door because she liked to make a big appearance with her famous 'Hello, hello'. But not tonight. Tonight she didn't want to let the others know that she was back. Niles was the only person who should know this.<p>

The lights in the kitchen were turned off so she let herself in and wandered though the dark room to the stairs. Thank god she had spent so many times here before to know where to walk safely without making noise.  
>Slowly C.C. went upstairs and finally stood in front of his door. All her courage was gone now and she felt a deep fear inside her of what would come next. But she had to do this, she had to find out what was going on in the beautiful head of him.<br>There was no sound heard after she knocked at the door. Taking a deep breath she quietly opened it and entered his room for the first time.

Niles was lying on his bed sleeping and the only light in the room came from the small lamp on his nightstand. He was still wearing his daily clothes except of his jacket, the shoes and the tie. At the end of his bed she saw two large suitcases and one small bag. A whole life packed away in just this small amount of luggage. She almost couldn't believe it and felt another stab of heartache. He would really leave in the morning if she couldn't stop him before.  
>God, she couldn't stand it any more, this pain had to end. She didn't want Niles to leave. On the contrary, she wanted him to stay with her and make her life better than it had ever been. 'Don't screw it up this time', C.C. thought to herself. 'For once in your life do something right.'<p>

"Niles?" she whispered and moved closer to the bed. When he didn't wake up she carefully sat down not taking her eyes away from him.

"Niles", she repeated a bit louder and lightly stroked his hand. Finally he stirred and opened his eyes.

"What?" he asked drowsily and looked at her surprised. "You? What are you doing here?"  
>He surely hadn't expected to see her in his room, not after what happened that day. Hell, he hadn't even thought to see her at all.<br>Niles knew it was foolish but despite all the anger he felt inside there was still a bit hope in his heart. Hope that she would change her mind and come back to him. He still loved her very much and while packing his clothes he had done some thinking and came to understand that he should have listened to Fran. It was clear to him now that proposing out of the blue to C.C. Babcock had been the wrong way to catch her heart. But still it had hurt him deeply to think about her reaction and especially about this damn tape.  
>When she didn't answer to his question he got up from the bed and went over to the window. 'That's really an interesting conversation', he thought.<p>

The full moon was shining down from a cloudless sky creating strange shadows outside. Normally he liked this time of the night but now he couldn't enjoy it. Sighing he turned around and faced her. She was still sitting on his bed watching him and the look in her eyes hit him deep in his heart. There was a mixture of feelings in them, a mixture of hurt, pain, shame and something else which he could not yet make out. And still she hadn't said a single word but just looked at him.  
>"Okay, since you've woken me in the middle of the night I hope you have a good reason", he finally said almost a little too harsh but he didn't want to give her the chance to humiliate him again.<p>

Her reaction surprised him. Or better the lack of it. He had expected her to come up with an equal mad answer but instead she bent her head looking at her nervously shaking hands. This was so unusual for her that he didn't know how to react so he stayed quiet and waited for her to speak.  
>"Niles", she started in a small voice and looked up briefly. "I'm here because... because I wanted to say sorry for all the things I did during the last days... I know that was the worst I have ever done to you and you have absolutely every right to be mad at me." Her voice had gone so quiet by the end that Niles had to listen very intently to understand her.<p>

"And?" he asked her after another minute of silence. It was clear that she wanted to say more and he was eager to hear what was going on in her mind.

C.C. was surprised about this now much softer tone in his voice. It seemed like he sensed how difficult this was for her. 'Of course he knows', she thought. He had been a butler for many years now and butlers always have to know what other people need even before they know it by themselves. She had to be completely honest with him although it was not easy for her to talk about her emotions. But he deserved it.

"Why did you want to marry me, Niles? Why? You never explained that to me", she asked and looked directly at him. "You were playing jokes to me for the last twenty years and then suddenly you proposed. I would have never expected this and that's why I was so sure that this was another one of your pranks. The whole time I was waiting for you to say something like 'ha, got you' or so." Her voice had grown louder again while her intense gaze held his captive. "Did you really expect me to believe you something like this without the slightest doubt?"

Niles was silent for a while. She just had spoken out his thoughts when he had packed his suitcases. He couldn't blame her for misunderstanding him. But then again there was still this god-damn tape.

"You're right", he finally said quietly, "but why did you record it?"

"I didn't want to! Really! Actually I wanted to make some notes about a script I was reading. Then you came and proposed again. I was shocked and surprised and when I found out that it was on the tape I didn't know how to react. On one side I still thought it was a joke but there was also the feeling that maybe you could mean what you say. But thinking about it was almost to much for me and I wasn't sure either. I mean how should I have known? You of all people should know that I'm not really good with emotions." She got up and walked a few steps towards him and he could see hidden tears in her eyes. The ice queen almost crying. Niles was really astonished.  
>She stopped shortly before him. "I was… confused. You never showed much signs that you could have feelings for me. I know it's a lame explanation but it's true. I'm sorry, Niles, really. I've made a huge mistake and I've hurt you very deeply but please try to understand me too."<p>

"I do", he whispered, "I do."

"Then please tell me … why did you propose?"

He hesitated and watched her carefully. Should he tell her? Should he reveal his innermost feelings to her? He loved her, this crazy passionate, confusing woman but he couldn't bear to be humiliated another time. But then again he knew he could never be happy without her and it didn't matter if he stayed or left. Wherever he would go she would always be with him, in his heart.

"Niles?"

Her voice dragged him out of his reverie. Hope glimmered in his heart and a slight smile appeared on his face. He needed to tell her the truth. Maybe... maybe this whole mess could be fixed again. And if not then he could still leave in the morning.  
>"Okay", he said and took a deep breath, "I tell you and it's quite simple. I love you. I can't explain when I started feeling this way and first I couldn't even admit it to myself. But it's a fact and I won't deny it any more."<p>

Blue eyes met blue eyes and Niles could see the tears in her eyes threatening to flow down her cheeks. He had never seen her like this before, not even after Sara's death. She had always tried to hide her real feeling and for a second Niles wondered why.  
>But right know this didn't matter. It felt like this was a night full of unexpected events and he started to like this especially to see her open up and show her deepest emotions. He knew instantly that this was a sign of deep trust and he better did not spoil it.<p>

And there was it again, this warm feeling which flooded through his entire body and made him feel alive again. He closed the distance to her and carefully wiped her tears away. God, he loved this woman.

A smile appeared on his face and he slightly shook his head. An hour ago this day had looked like the worst day in his life but now it seemed to get better and better.  
>She moved her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. The warmth of his body radiated through her and she was a bit surprised how good it felt to be in his arms. His hands roamed soothingly over her back while all the tension of the day slowly left her body.<p>

Later C.C. couldn't tell any more how it all had started. But one thing had led to the other and she soon found herself lying naked in his bed enjoying all the nice and naughty things he did to her.

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><p>So, that's it. My first story. I hope you liked it.<br>I didn't want to write much details what exactly happened between Niles and C.C. at the end because I'm pretty sure you all have enough fantasy ;o)


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